Teenage Love, Aphrodite and a Pragmatic Motherfucker

Teenage Love, Aphrodite and a Pragmatic Motherfucker

I write this because after a moment of sombre reflection the other day, I began to ask myself, “why the hell do I have to listen other people’s girl problems.” It began to irritate me after I figured how often various people come to my room talking about their so-called “girl problems.” And this isn’t counting how often I hear other people’s girl problems in, say, a prefects room. The hub for all the hostel news. So why am I writing this you ask? Well, this particular post isn’t one with a beginning and end. Just a thoughtful analysis.

If you haven’t guessed it already, I’m the “pragmatic motherhfucker” of the title. And I choose that title, mainly because I am not easily moved to emotion, being one of those people who, quite honestly, has something only resembling a heart. I barely ever catch feelings, and when I do, I am very slow to be moved to said feelings.As a result of this, more often than not, I am able to easily assess and solve rather complicated, or maybe seemingly complicated life issues. This is perhaps, one of the reasons that I am unable to feel much sympathy for the people who end up whining about their girl problems. More often than not, I hear such stories from “fuckboys”, as they are now widely known. The ironically much hated, yet much sought after male. Let it be known that I have no sympathy for total dicks, because that’s basically what a fuckboy, or anyone for that matter who does that, be it girl or boy, is. However, it amuses me greatly to hear their complaints. It’s still rather annoying though.

But in the end it often comes down to my advice, and this is perhaps the simplest, and best thing to do, and what should  have been done in the beginning. Something that, perhaps comes easy to me because of the way I was raised. I usually give different advice to what I really think, which is usually just, be nice to her bro. Sincerely compliment her every once in a while. Tell a funny joke, surprise her and just be yourself. If you’re being unfaitful then you might as well just break it off and choose one already. It would savee you a lot of strife. I’m fairly certain that it isn’t that hard to not be a total dick. And if you are a total dick, you don’t have a right to  complain about your problems. From casual observation, I simply find it strange for someone to be in a perfectly fine relationship, have three girls on the side, and expect to both have a stable and normal relationship. If you are in the 10% of guys who can manage that, I laud your cunning, and sheer sociopathy. But I still wouldn’t want any complaints if all that somehow backfires. It’s vexing, to say the least

I was pretty much raised by my mother, and grandmother. So respecting women was not a choice, and chivalry was a given. So when I came to KA and was faced with such a different environment, it was either become one of them, or turn into a black sheep. I chose the black sheep route, joining a plethora of “nice guys.” According to multiple sources, girls love the bad guy, which is, in my odd head, rather contradictory seeing as though the most complained about guy is the bad guy. Good guys always complain about the ever-present “bad guy”, especially if you’re in, or dangerously near, the friendzone. I promise you he won’t be gone anytime soon, and you pretty much don’t have a chance, but you might as well pride yourself in being a little better…that is, morally speaking of course. Needless to say, I regretted that very little because of one prevalent factor in my life.

Boarding life. KA is first and foremost, a boarding school, which means that every kind of drama that happens inside of its walls is amplified by a factor ten. I have happily avoided the worst of unnecessary drama in my life for six years. For me, I would not easily give up freedom and calm for fleeting love. But then again, who am I to judge those people who have felt Aphrodite’s sweet kiss?

I’m fairly certain that if the right conditions were met, I’d be just another lovesick puppy. But I think I’m happy where I am now. I don’t search for love, or perhaps I’m too lazy. I don’t envy happy couples or that one guy who got the hottest chick. Maybe I exist out if the social norm,  because I’m the type who indeed, doesn’t want a perfect relationship, or the perfect girl. Don’t be silly, those things don’t exist. And in a world where everyone wants the “baddest bitch”, or “a real nigga”, whatever the fuck those things are, perhaps I’m simply destined to an ironic and harder path for love. But I’m not gonna go against the flow to find it. I’ll just ride the wave and carry it to where it washes me.

I think that as detestable as fuckboys are, It’s a sad cycle in which people are, for the most part attracted to fuckboys, and the good guys have to turn in to fuckboys so that they aren’t ignored. I don’t think this post exactly has a moral, after all, I couldn’t care less. I hate drama, and perhaps that makes me a black sheep. But I still wouldn’t want to give the most carefree years of my life over, single-mindedly. Think before you act, and never act out of place. Guys, don’t be fuckboys. Just…don’t.

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The Delusion of Society

The Delusion of Society

I do not like labels. Detestable things, they aren’t used by just the jealous and the unsympathetic. Society makes it a mission to label us even before we are old enough to decide what type of people we are. We are given high expectations from birth, maybe as a byproduct of our parent’s wishes and dreams. That in itself is not bad, as children require a guiding hand. But at the age of 14 or 15, hell, even as young as 7, who are you to say that I don’t know what I want to be in life? If I’m old enough to know the difference between right and wrong, are you to tell me to be a doctor instead of a lawyer? An accountant instead of a writer? An engineer instead of a musician? I have the belief that if Malawian, or African parent in general, weren’t so overbearing, perhaps their children would not be so stressed and worried about their futures.

Since I was young I’ve had a rebellious streak. I was in love with rock music and art since it was strongly associated with rebellion.Telling my parents that I’d be a skater or rock star when I grew up just to piss them as I was already handed my fate to me when I was born.  “Adlai, as my firstborn, you will inherit my university.” The mere thought of that was abhorrent to my five year old self. You cannot heap such responsibilities on a child and be surprised when they become an anarchistic rock & roll rebel child. As such I quickly developed my own values and ideas whilst retaining and shaping my own moral system that, if I may be so bold, is not too shoddy. I quickly shied away from society’s vice grip and decided my own fate. Whilst I no longer wish to be a center-stage celebrity or the next Nyjah Huston, I have settled on my much loved passion of writing and have chosen the unconventional path of being an author in the near future.

I know it’ll be hard as hell. Edgar Allan Poe, in my opinion, the greatest American writer of his generation suffered inconceivable loss and struggles, all whilst pursuing his passion. He was determined to survive as a writer, making a measly salary. He eventually fell into alcoholism and died a rather miserable death before the age of fifty. But, he died doing what he loved most, and I would much rather live a short and not so glamorous life doing what I love, than spend a chunk of years I’ll never get back doing something I detest. If you want to be a doctor, do it! An engineer? Do it! The next president of the AU? Go on!  If you have a voice so beautiful that even a few people acknowledge it, don’t be disheartened when someone tells you you’ll never make it. If your art is so amazing the occasional people stop for a second to gawk, don’t let that talent go to waste! If you let society and your peers decide your fate and fill your life with negativity, then you will no doubt be stuck doing something you wouldn’t have enjoyed as much. You only get one life…is it so wrong to prioritize your future above your parents wishes?

But labels don’t merely extend to expectations of someone’s future. They always end up being used by someone else to define you in the present. And I hate that because those labels tend to come from people who either don’t know you or think they do. That girl who dresses up a little too skimpily? Oh yeah, she must be a slut. That guy who’s a little shy around most people? He’s just a weirdo. The guy who brags too often must definitely be a show off. And the girl who bounces from guy to guy is a golddigging whore. Well as someone who obsessively reads between the lines, I’ll tell you that the “slut” is simply proud of her body, and is probably being shamed out of jealousy. Did you know she was body shamed years ago and feels it’s a necessary precaution to flaunt what she’s got. That “weirdo” suffers from intense social-anxiety. Talking to anyone other than his closest friends, the ones he’s afraid to come out too, takes all his effort. The “golddigging whore” can’t keep a guy because she’s misled, just like every other person. But she doesn’t have friends to warn her against people that she doesn’t need. The “show off”? He has low self-esteem, and his bragging is simply a fragile shield.

As someone who has been judged time and time again this topic is a little personal. Satanic, stupid, crazy, untalented, directionless, godless, and bad influence are just a few of the titles I’ve accumulated over the years. But here I am, sharing my art and thoughts with you. The labels? They don’t bother me. They just motivate me. So the next time someone labels you, never let yourself be filed away with them. You are you, wonderful and unique. You have the power to decide your own fate and change your destiny, no matter what anyone says.

As always, until next time.

 

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As a side note, if you want to check out some of my art, you can see them on:
Instagram @Percybane13
Twitter @AdlaiMakhaza1
Facebook @Adlai Perci Makhaza

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420

420

It is the 4th of April today, making it 4/20, aka 420, or as some people might know it, “World Weed Day”. A time for those who partake in the leafy green plant to roll a joint and chill. This is common knowledge for my fellow counterculture kids. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a massive smoke and chill session going on somewhere in this country. Marijuana itself has been around for centuries, and perhaps millennia. My own father told me that people were smoking it when his granddad was young, Malawi being a country where the cannabis plant grows wildly in some place. This coupled with media attention and a link with hip-hop culture and the western world makes it no surprise that to my estimation, about 70% of high school kids in Malawi have tried weed at some point in their lives.

 

To many, the topic of marijuana is a tricky one. You must watch your mouth or risk offending your more conservative peers. Many people barely know how dangerous weed really is and blindly accept any advice that their inexperienced friends or family may give. I should remind my kind readers that humans have a well-documented history with self-destruction. You name it and we’ve probably done it, been subjected to it and invented it. Sometimes, all three at once. However, one destructive legacy that continues to impact society today is that of drugs. Oh, you name it, alcohol, tobacco, cocaine, heroin, amphetamines, and the more obscure types of drugs. A history of degradation that continues to this day and fuels a massive criminal empire billions of dollars strong. One that easily propels itself through the streets as well as through the big screen in various lights. You need only to watch The Wolf of Wall Street or Breaking Bad to see how far drugs have impacted society.

But I stand my ground in saying that out of all drugs that I know of, cannabis is perhaps the least dangerous. Now, I’m not saying that we should legalize weed. No, no, no, that would create another situation I don’t want to get into now. However, I am saying that out of all the drugs that people are so quick to try, this one is the least likely to have you tripping balls, spending thousands of dollars a week, and possibly overdosing. You may feel a sudden pang of hunger after a drawn out session, but you won’t shiver and shake in anticipation of your next hit.

On that note, weed isn’t for everyone. In fact, it has potentially destructive effects. However, is that not the same for the alcoholic who beats his family, or the smoker who inhales radioactive tobacco into his lungs? The difference here is that one is socially acceptable, and the other, feared because it might produce a lazy, and anarchistic society, thus government smear campaigns that run generations deep. In response to this, I would say to look around you carefully. If you fear being lazy, or stupid, remind yourself that there are those who end up like that without any external factors like drugs. Look to the other side and you will find the successful who have most likely tried a drug, (yes alcohol is a drug) and are in the top ten in your class, or own their own company. Look closer and you’ll find that these people still partake in the odd joint or two from time to time. Again, I am not taking any sides; I am merely asking you to broaden your views.

I will end by saying that humanity is a particularly fragile species. We wallow in misery, war and disease on a daily basis. Sometimes, the news is enough to make a grown man cry and a mother worry about their 16 year old son as he makes his way back from school. The world that we’ve created is a scary place, but it is all the more beautiful because of the good that sprouts out and defies the darkness. In my humble opinion, I don’t think cannabis, is a direct cause of a myriad of problems that the mass media announces. Those can be found anywhere with any set of variables, but it seems the blame needs to be put somewhere. As fragile as we are, I would not condemn the person who smokes a joint after a particularly stressful day at work, or to get out of a crippling writers block no more than I would the man who has been kicked out of his house and goes straight to the bar. Neither would I reprimand the casual stoner for smoking the occasional joint. We should be more tolerable of the fragile species and understand that not everyone has the mental fortitude to withstand all of life’s challenges.  And we should be more understanding of the self-destructive man who chooses his poison accordingly, and perhaps not judge the man, but perhaps the poison he takes.

But I will not ask that we do not judge because we don’t live in utopia. I will finally ask that before you judge, you look at the person with an open mind and sympathetic heart. We are fragile.

 

I hope you have a good 420 if you’re into that. My advice would be stay safe and don’t be too excessive. Until the next time.

Introductions

A gentleman always introduces himself first. I don’t know where I read it, but I still remember it.

My name is Adlai Periyanayagam Maziko Makhaza, although I go by many other names, mainly “Percy”, “Addie” and a few other less known ones I’m the middle child in our family, the other spots taken by a younger brother, Leon, an older adopted brother, Brighton, an older stepsister, Lumbani and an oldest stepsister, Tikhala. Born in 1999 to a Professor for a Dad and an Academic Doctor for a Mom, yes, the bar was already raised high from birth, especially with the medical doctor (my oldest stepsister)-but that’s a story for another time.

I was born, and raised in Malawi. A country scarcely mentioned except perhaps in passing, on an obscure TV show(I’m talking about you Cleveland Show) and in relation to Madonna. small, and comfortable, apart from the natural beauty, there’s little to catch the eye at first glance. The people are intriguing, the food is rather simple and the weather is, on the best of days, absolutely beautiful.

I currently stay in Lilongwe and attend Kamuzu Academy, a grammar school founded by our nation’s founder. Prestigious, uninspiring and still stuck in the past, it has been an adventure to say the least. The feelings of dismay never left, but the relationships made and experiences garnered will leave a profound effect on my life.

For now, I think it is a start in terms of me, and I will speak about myself from time to time so as not to bore you to much. But I assume that by now, you’re probably wondering, why even write a blog? Well, first and foremost, I have an intense passion for the arts, my preferred arts being, the written arts. Poetry, novels…a love still kept hot after many years. I often tell people that were I able to conjure up a life for myself, I would be content with a cozy little house in the countryside, a big ol’ library and a full pipe. My mind alternates between my adventurous Tookish side, and my extremely wild and adventurous Baggins side. But I’ve always suspected that my Baggins side has been the stronger. Having written poetry and novels, it was only a matter of time till I explored blogging.

Secondly, it was a decision made on a whim. I don’t have, or at least I think, any groundbreaking movements or ideas to share, and I hope to be proven wrong on that. However, I do have a voice, the internet, and the selfish desire to have people read what I have to offer.  Hopefully, my tales might inspire someone, or help another. I’m not looking to change the world just yet.